Wheat Germ's Medicine Bag

I applied to two more programs that the Southwest Conservation Corps runs--a river restoration program in Colorado (which would be totally awesome, because I would love to work near water) and a "technical trails" program. I have no idea what that means, really, but I was qualified for it, so fuck it, I applied.

I read my tarot, runes, and horoscope on iFate, and each thing promised that something good was coming up. Jeez, I really hope so. I'm really getting depressed over this cloud of failure that's been constantly surrounding me since February. Also, I'm sick of North Carolina. I want to go back out west. D:

So I'm hoping that the fortune-telling tools were right. While I'm at it, give me some of your prayers and voodoo and spells, too. I need all the help I can get, wherever I can get it from. XD

Fairchild muscled himself into this chapter again. Sort-of-hooray! He's a complete monster, but I like writing about him. I don't write villains very often--not true villains. I write antagonists, of course, but I try to keep the shades of gray in mind, and try to give them some kind of motivation or sympathetic touch.

Not Fairchild.

Fairchild is just having fun. That's all. He's bent on destroying Sailor Sigma's already-fragile psyche because it's hilarious, and sends sentient pestilences into the world because he likes seeing people panic and start to destroy themselves and each other. Thinks it's great fun. He's been around since before time began, and things get boring when you're that old. But he has his simple pleasures.

Sigma's slightly more sympathetic. She just wants to be special to someone; she hardly cares who at this point. She wants a purpose and attention. Fairchild knows how to manipulate her so that she feels special while he's completely breaking her down. That's why he chose her out of anybody in the world to give this new, unbound Sailor Crystal to.

It disturbs me that I like writing about Fairchild. I think he's a good villain. Then again, I also love writing about Pi, Epsilon, and Moffat, all of who are good and heroic. Balances it out, I guess.

I found my Nightwish CD! Hooray! I had been looking for it for about two years now.

So now I have some of my writing music back, and so I'm back on writing the next bit of my Sailor Moon fanfic. Part of it is the sad tale of Sailor Pi and part of it is the story of the hungry, pestilent god. I think they'll be separate parts, really, unless I find a good way to create the dissonance between the two within the same part. (While the latter is about a god who eats everything but never kills anything, effectively creating plague zombies, the former is about Sailor Pi, who is a fun, cute heroine who loves to fly and help the less fortunate in her own community. Yeah.)

Back to it.

I'm sleepy. I hope it gets dark soon so I can pass out early.

I did nap for a tiny bit. I had a dream that I was amongst anthro lions, except for one lady and this scrawny, scruffy guy with dark hair, who looked an awful lot like Daniel from CREC (you'll remember I have a bit of a lingering attachment to him, although he never thought of me beyond the bane of my existence, being a Little Sister). The other two humans liked me okay, but the lions didn't, and chased me away from the picnic they were all having together. So I just leaned on the fence outside longingly. One of the lions challenged me to a game of basketball, but I lost, so he pounced at me, wanting to eat me. But some random guy with red hair came to save me, then he fell into a swimming pool, so I had to go rescue him.

Then the lions randomly respected me for some reason, and I got invited to the picnic with the other two people. The scruffy guy/poss. Daniel was showing pictures and one of them included a fridge with a magnet from Kansas and a remote on the counter beside the fridge, and I went, "You know, I think 'the Kansas Remotes' would be a cool name for a band," and suddenly the scruffy guy thought I was neat, too, and asked me out. So the red-haired guy, the scruffy guy, and I all went to a concert together and it was cool.

Weird dream. I don't know why the furries. Fucking furries. XD

I had a dream that the talking Jim Morrison cardinal came back. It was pretty cool. I climbed onto its back and we flew out into the desert, where we met some friendly dude in a brown wizard robe. He rambled on about runes for awhile, then we went into this little adobe house (even the talking Morrison cardinal) and started arguing about which kind of pizza to order. The guy in the robe was going to pay for it all, but we still couldn't agree. So I suggested getting the pizza cut into thirds so we could all have our own toppings. Then we agreed.

Then we had to go fight the Jersey Devil, which creeped me out a lot. Woe. :( The Jersey Devil is the only monster that's ever terrified me, aside from Chernobog from Fantasia. But the cardinal and the guy won for me, and we flew back to the desert and hung out discussing Neil Gaiman's works. ♥!

It was cool.

I lived in North Carolina, and my area got a nasty bit of Hurricane Fran back in... 1996, I believe. The power was off for about three or four days while the storm was going. We didn't have but one flashlight, so we couldn't all read books--we had to trade off. We tried playing Monopoly, but as always, Josh won by default because the rest of us got impatient and left to go watch paint dry or something.

Josh took the flashlight and went to the bathroom, and noticed that Tug (our dog at the time) chased the light along the wall. So we sat there flashing the light at the wall and watching Tug chase and try to catch it. Good times.

In other news: Applied for the Southwest Conservation Corps. God, I hope this comes to something. I tried my damnedest to make myself sound appealing and worthy while still remaining honest. And I did work in CREC, so maybe that'll get me in the door (as the programs have worked together before). I hope, I hope, I hope! I don't care whether I wind up in Tucson, Durango, or La Plata (or wherever the hell that last Colorado town was). I just want a job--some purpose, something to do.

I'm so bored, and so goddamn depressed these days. I found my new hobby, and I still need a new job.

The only shit thing about SCC is that they spike for twelve days as opposed to just eight. But then again, they go all over the southwest--they even go out of state. So that would be pretty cool, too.

Dad says that all three of us might go to Myrtle Beach at the end of the month. That would be nice, and since I'm more-or-less grown up now, I could wander off on my own with my cellphone and do other stuff, like hang out on the beach or go to Ripley's or something while Dad and Karen go out drinking.

We just have to find someone to come feed the dogs and the cats while we're out. Probably wind up asking one of Karen's friends to do it.

I haven't been to the beach in such a long time. I'd really like to go. I love the beach; in a perfect world, I'd live in a beachside town somewhere. Perhaps on the coast of Australia. I've always wanted to live in Australia. I just love the water.

Bedtime soon. I'm very sleepy for some reason. Tomorrow--er, later today, considering the time--I might go out and take pictures of stuff in my neighborhood. I think I've found a new hobby, at least for awhile. *nodnod* I've cleared up room on the memory card of the camera, too. Yay~

( PICTURES! )
In other news: We had to put Buckeye in a cat carrier and haul him up onto my bed because we're getting the carpets steam-cleaned. He doesn't like it at all. XD He's meowing and giving me the evil eye from the holes in the side. I gave him a toy and a blanket to play with, but he's still not having it.

I had a dream that I was in this really cool steampunk world, and I chased some woman in a fancy yellow Victorian dress around a big clock. Then I jumped out of a thirteen on the clock and onto a hot-air balloon driven by an anthro rabbit guy.

It was pretty weird, but it was cool, too. Yeah.

I had to get up early today 'cos we're getting the carpets steam-cleaned. So I had to pick up a lot of boxes and stuff and put them away.

ETA: A friend gave me a tip on how to get around the camera cable problem. I shall soon post a recent picture of me, as well as spam you with pictures of my cat playing in my library bag. :D

Um. So. I just joined an intarnetz dating site. Hello, Emily, and welcome to desperation.

*facepalm*

We'll see how this works out. I hope it doesn't work out like OKCupid did, with nothing but sixty-year-old creepy men emailing me. Probably will, though, since that's about all that's interested in me. D: Seems like, anyway. Urgh.

I found my camera! Wow, I didn't even know it was up on top of the CD rack. I just noticed it while I was sitting in my rocking-chair and asked Dad who it belonged to, and he was all, "*shrug* I dunno, it's been there for, like, a year." So I go and pick it up and it's got all the saw-chain marks on the back. We dug up some batteries and I popped them in--yup, it's mine. It finally works, too! Yay! I have to find the cable so I can share some of my old pictures to share.

ETA: GRAAAAARGH! I can swear I just moved that cable the other day! Where's it gone to? I can't find it in either of my backpacks (which is the last place I left it). Blah!

I had a dream that I was some kind of magical girl flying along a dried-up river with a lot of rocks on the bottom, out in the desert somewhere. I was looking for something specific. Rorschach was there, riding a horse, and we were racing. Or something. I don't know. It was cool, anyway, 'cos I won the race.

In other news: Not much. Did my work for the day. Now I'm on Gaia trying to earn my way towards a Kottan Bell. They're so cute. :D

Ideally, I'd be married, we'd live somewhere fairly nice, I'd be permanently sterilized with no children, and I will have found my life's passion by then and will be working with a job involving that. Whatever it is.

While I'm daydreaming, I would like to be a fairy princess. Maybe something in the Winx Club family, so I can moonlight as a superhero. That'd be totally boss.

I just randomly noticed that I dream about birds a lot, more than any other animals. Mostly about crows. Wonder what that's supposed to mean? XD I just giggle to myself because Randall Flagg, from The Stand, sometimes uses crows as messengers or lookouts or spies (and I happen to be following "Flagg" on Twitter now, because my life is so goddamn dull that I stalk fictional characters on internet messaging applications).

Sometimes I have dreams featuring sparrows or cardinals. But it primarily seems to be just crows and other corvid-type birds. Dunno why.

Went to the library with Gram. I got Just After Sunset (the latest Stephen King book), Making Money (Terry Pratchett), and a few random graphic novels, including two prequel stories to the Dark Tower. I requested them on scans_daily, but PAD wrote them, so that was a no-go. :(

Then Gram and I had dinner. Seafood alfredo pizza. ♥! I missed three things about this town while I was gone--I missed Gram, I missed Cheerwine, and I missed Smugglers' seafood alfredo pizza. Omnomnom. ♥

And now I'm just back here. Yeah.

I don't remember much about the dreams I had last night, except that they were really good, because I woke up in a good mood.

Library time soon. Hooray! :D

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers

Believe it or not, my parents used to do this, and they used to drag my brother and I along. We were, like, 8 and 10 and this went on for about four or five years. At first, we rode in the chase truck (which I always liked, because we were allowed to sit in the back between the coolers while we were riding through tough places) but then Josh started running with the main group, and I would walk with the one other guy who walked.

Strangely, Josh, despite having asthma at the time, ran faster and better than I could, and my lungs are just fine. I think.

Anyway.

I was never very fond of the partying part, but I need lots more exercise, and I need company that doesn't exist solely on the intarnetz, so I'm thinking of looking into it again now that I'm a grown-up.

I need a new hobby. :( I mean, I will never stop writing, because I'm 100% certain that I would go nuts if I didn't. But I think I need other hobbies, too, besides reading and hanging out on the intarnetz.

Thing is, I have no clue what to do. BAH.

Dunno what I would do or what I would collect.

There are things I like to do--like sewing, but I have nowhere to wear the costumes and outfits I make. I like taking walks and hiking, but there's nowhere interesting to walk to here.

And I wouldn't know what to collect, besides books. I used to collect stuffed animals, but Karen won't let me. Ditto Living Dead Dolls.

I guess I'd like to learn how to play D&D, but there's nobody around here to play it with.

Or maybe I could take up tennis or birdwatching or something. I don't fucking know. I just need something to do during the day, since I still epically fail at finding a job. D:

I don't know, but I'll be real fucking disappointed if there isn't a growing trend in shiny unisex spandex jumpsuits and go-go boots by then. I mean, I already got gypped out of having a flying car and a jetpack at this point in time. At least I can hope for Unisex Space Tinfoil Fashion yet. :(

I'm going to the library with Gram tomorrow. :D I finished my last book, so now I've gotten all of the requirements for my grown-up summer reading club prize. ('S a tote bag.)

It'll be neat. :D I'm gonna get some more Discworld books. ♥

I'm watching Gordon Ramsay's F-Word now, and his recipe challenge opponents were Kim and Aggie from How Clean is Your House? Kim and Aggie won. XD It was pretty funny. I always like it when Gordon loses and he's all "VERY BIG NOOOO." The time that James May won against him was my favorite, though. James May is completely adorable, so I was rooting for him anyway, and Gordon was picking on the poor guy the whole time. "If you win, I'm gonna give up cooking!"

So May wins and Gordon's all "WHAT THE HELL, SERIOUSLY? D:"

I like watching Gordon Ramsay. He's hilarious. And mean. I like mean, old British guys. shut up, don't judge me